I belong to a traditional family that is devoted to Perumal. Even though the elders in my family have devotion towards Perumal, they engage in competing with one another, making comparisons, harbouring egos and speaking in ways that hurt others. Even though I wish to set aside these matters, I am unable to do so. How should I handle this? 

In a situation like this, we should meditate upon Emperuman and ensure that all these external matters do not affect our mind. One must engage one’s mind in activities such as chanting the holy names of Bhagavan (God), reciting Prabandhams and Stotras, and visiting temples, ensuring that the mind is fully immersed in them. You must pray that no other external matter affects you. To develop Vairagyam (detachment/dispassion), you can recite the Vairagya Panchaka Sloka daily. It is an amazing short sloka which declares that Emperuman (the Lord) is our only relationship, that whatever Emperuman has kept for us is our only wealth, and that we need nothing else. You must recite it daily. Similarly, since they are your relatives, you can pray to Emperuman on their behalf. You can pray that they too should become involved with Emperuman, that they should not focus their minds on unnecessary matters, that they should be granted good wisdom, that all their Asuyai (jealousy/envy) be removed, and that they should seek refuge in Perumal alone.