Usually, we can express our condolences as everyone does – ‘I take part in your sadness. What can we do? There is such a thing as Perumal’s will (Bhagavat Sankalpam). All of us are subjected to that’. We can only talk about such sentiments and express them. While conveying our thoughts, we must ensure to refer to Bhagavat sankalpam.
When one’s mother or father attains Paramapadam, through traditional words we can remark that one whose mother or father has passed away has gotten the opportunity to perform matru or pitru kainkaryam.
When a very old person has passed away, we can say that Perumal has called them to perform services at Paramapadam.
When younger ones pass away, we can express our sympathies by saying that Bhagavat sankalpam that they have passed away.
The above are some of the ways to express condolences using Sri Vaishnava terms.
For a Thirunakshatram, one says that adiyen prostrates before the respected Svami and asks for their grace. If so inclined, one can recite Tiruppallandu.